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I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.

Related Topics

Forget Funny Myself

Bagwalas

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I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
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Death Myself Quote Right Talk Word
It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I’d never even thought about killing myself.
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Funny Kill Learning Love Myself Time
I installed a skylight in my apartment, the people who live above me are furious!
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Angry Install Light Live Myself People
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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Angry Depression Enthusiasm One Liner Perspective Sick
I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
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Company Game Myself Thinking Wrong
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?
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Funny Man Sad Yourself
There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
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Idiot Ocean Stand Wait
I got a new dog. He’s a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him.
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Animal Dog Himself Myself Return
If Dracula can’t see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
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Hairs Himself Mirror Reflection See
My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.
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Attention Believe Himself Myself Sick
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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Experience Need Yourself
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
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Flight Leaving One Liner Yourself
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
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Country Funny Nation People
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
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Funny Identity Person Play Race
I’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.
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Addiction Difference Myself Quit

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