“I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.”

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.

It’s pain that changes our lives.

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.

I love money. I love everything about it.

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

No art comes from the conscious mind.

There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.

The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.

A father carries pictures where his money used to be.

Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.

It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.

You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.

Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.