I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
STEVE MARTINI could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
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With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
STEVE MARTIN