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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.

Steve Martin

I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
STEVE MARTIN

Book Funny Myself
Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
STEVE MARTIN

Alcohol Drink Poet Team Writing
I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
STEVE MARTIN

Creation Enjoyment Flow Goodness Myself Right Word
The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
STEVE MARTIN

Inspirational Mindset Motivational Spiritual Writing
You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
STEVE MARTIN

Appearance Funny Myself Sex Woman Yourself
The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
STEVE MARTIN

Cheerful Happiness Play Sad Yourself
How many people have never raised their hand before?
STEVE MARTIN

Deep Hands People Question Voice
Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
STEVE MARTIN

Business Happiness Person Surprise Try Yourself
Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
STEVE MARTIN

Harm Illusion Inspirational Learning Moments Myself
Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
STEVE MARTIN

Alone Break Up Connection Deep Herself Himself Moments Night Relationship Thinking
I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
STEVE MARTIN

Animal Funny Goodness Important Laughter Learning Myself Sex
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
STEVE MARTIN

Hard Time Night Shine Sun Yourself
The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
STEVE MARTIN

Greatness Hard Work Inspirational Surprise Yourself
I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
STEVE MARTIN

Experience Imagination Life Myself Reality Stand
You have to get comfortable with your work, you really have to know what you’re doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.
STEVE MARTIN

Boredom Comfortable Work Yourself
Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
STEVE MARTIN

Different Evolution Human Walk

I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.

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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.

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Popular Authors

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