It’s pain that changes our lives.
STEVE MARTINI could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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Acting has helped me understand people, not only because you are acting as a character, but also because you are watching other actors work. That really helps you identify in life when someone is acting, not being true.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
STEVE MARTIN






