Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
STEVE MARTINI could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.
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I love money. I love everything about it.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
STEVE MARTIN