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Buy land. They ain’t making any more of the stuff.

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There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.
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Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.
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You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
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The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.
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Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
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Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
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People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
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Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.
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Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
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If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.
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On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
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The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
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The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
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An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
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Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
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