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Buy land. They ain’t making any more of the stuff.

Will Rogers

The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
WILL ROGERS

Admit Observe Party Politics Worse
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’
WILL ROGERS

Country Job Morning President
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
WILL ROGERS

Learning Men Observation Reading Stupidity
Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
WILL ROGERS

Funny Happen Hard Time Tragedy
If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.
WILL ROGERS

Politics Truth
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
WILL ROGERS

Joke Pratical Trouble
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
WILL ROGERS

Funny Humor Theory Woman
Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.
WILL ROGERS

Government Pay Thankful
Buy land. They ain’t making any more of the stuff.
WILL ROGERS

Buy Land Stuff
The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
WILL ROGERS

Country Office Politics
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
WILL ROGERS

Death Grandfather Peace Scream Sleep
Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
WILL ROGERS

Inspirational Right Sit Track
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn’t still be a farmer.
WILL ROGERS

Farmer Optimistic
If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn’t have to advertise them.
WILL ROGERS

Advertisement Amount Improvement Money
An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
WILL ROGERS

Cry Laugh Onion People Vegetable
It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so.
WILL ROGERS

Philosophy Trouble

Buy land. They ain’t making any more of the stuff.

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Buy land. They ain’t making any more of the stuff.

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