black
grey
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

W. C. Fields

Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Necessary Sex Yourself
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Home
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS

Fools Inspirational Quit Success Yourself
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Belief Trust Yourself
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Myself Perspective Sea
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS

Gift Ignorance Peace Prayer Wisdom

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

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