A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDSI’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
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I never eat before breakfast.
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Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS -
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
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If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
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I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS -
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS -
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
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It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
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You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS