black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.

W. C. Fields

You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS

Heart Live Worry Yourself
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS

Friendship Life Marriage Necessary Old Relationship
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Home

I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes