Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDSJust like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
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If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS -
I drink therefore I am.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS -
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS -
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS -
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS -
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS -
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS -
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS -
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS -
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS -
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS -
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS -
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS