black
grey
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If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

W. C. Fields

I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS

Goodness Lost Myself Night Thankful
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS

Heart Live Worry Yourself
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Help People Sex Ugly
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Danger Man Place World
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

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If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

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