I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDSIf you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
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I drink therefore I am.
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
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If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS