black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I never eat before breakfast.

W. C. Fields

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Help People Sex Ugly
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Myself Perspective Sea
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Myself Time
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness

I never eat before breakfast.

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I never eat before breakfast.

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