black
grey
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I never eat before breakfast.

W. C. Fields

I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Myself Perspective Sea
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Live Lost Struggle Travel
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS

Fools Inspirational Quit Success Yourself
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember

I never eat before breakfast.

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I never eat before breakfast.

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