black
grey
blue
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brown
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I never eat before breakfast.

W. C. Fields

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Myself Time
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS

Friendship Life Marriage Necessary Old Relationship
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich

I never eat before breakfast.

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I never eat before breakfast.

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