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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.

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Beautiful Herself Love Myself

Bagwalas

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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Equality Freedom Hate Myself
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See

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