The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDSI was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS -
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS -
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS -
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS -
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS -
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS -
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS -
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS