black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

W. C. Fields

I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Necessary Sex Yourself
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS

Believe Empty Food Myself Weird
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes