No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDSI spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS -
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. FIELDS -
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS -
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
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Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS -
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS -
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS -
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS -
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS -
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. FIELDS -
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS -
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS