black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

W. C. Fields

I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself People Religious Sanity
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Attitude Education Important Money Past People Skill
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Belief Trust Yourself

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes