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Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.

W. C. Fields

I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Help People Sex Ugly
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner

Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.

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Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.

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