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Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FIELDS

Expectation Herself Life Man Woman Yourself
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS

Friendship Life Marriage Necessary Old Relationship
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Help People Sex Ugly
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself

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