I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDSDrat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS -
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS -
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS -
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS -
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS -
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. FIELDS -
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS -
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS -
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS -
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS -
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS -
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS -
Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS -
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS