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Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.

W. C. Fields

I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Advice Age Alcohol Authority Give Up Myself
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FIELDS

Expectation Herself Life Man Woman Yourself
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Help People Sex Ugly
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost

Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.

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Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.

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