If it ain’t broke, you can probably still fix it.
TIM ALLENKids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they’re going to respect Mom.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
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Never comment on a woman’s rear end. Never use the words ‘large’ or ‘size’ with ‘rear end’. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.
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Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, “And let there be aluminum siding.” Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree’s on a golf course, all the better.
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
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I do a lot of family shows.
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I’m sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.
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Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
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Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we’re just the tallest people living here.
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I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.
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Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.
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They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.
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When you’re 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
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There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
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I’m a very bad student, but a great learner.
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Boys can be disgusting. You can’t leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We’re just obnoxious.
TIM ALLEN