I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
TIM ALLENAnytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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Men aren’t men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
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Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison.
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The world’s a mean place. It’s unfair, then it’s fair. It’s hateful, then it’s loving. It’s a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
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I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
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Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move. He’ll talk to you. I promise.
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I’m sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.
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Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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You don’t know what people are really like until they’re under a lot of stress.
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I am a thespian trapped in a man’s body.
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Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
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When you’re 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
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Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.
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My comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.
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