I love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, “Dad’s an idiot,” which lasted a little longer than I’d like.
TIM ALLENI love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, “Dad’s an idiot,” which lasted a little longer than I’d like.
TIM ALLENFor years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.
TIM ALLENMen are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
TIM ALLENI love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
TIM ALLENMen are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
TIM ALLENWomen are brilliant. Every woman knows how to do the weirdest thing right out of the bucket. Every woman knows how to do that Hindu head wrap with the towel out of the shower. Ever try to do that? You look like a drunk Iraqi soldier.
TIM ALLENNothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
TIM ALLENKids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they’re going to respect Mom.
TIM ALLENIn my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
TIM ALLENSometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of “Yeah, we might have to reboot.”
TIM ALLENYou don’t know what people are really like until they’re under a lot of stress.
TIM ALLENI’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.
TIM ALLENPlaying golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.
TIM ALLENIf you don’t decide where you’re going, life will decide for you.
TIM ALLENI was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It’s not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I’ll do it because it’s a moment that will stick with me forever.
TIM ALLENWhy go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, “And let there be aluminum siding.” Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree’s on a golf course, all the better.
TIM ALLEN