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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

Tim Allen

A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad’s car. I don’t blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don’t have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.
TIM ALLEN

Blame Car Family Land Memories Myself Traffic
I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
TIM ALLEN

Artist Life Logo Love Myself
Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.
TIM ALLEN

Drink Money Oneself Party Rich Wealth
Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
TIM ALLEN

Direction Flight Plane Reality
I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
TIM ALLEN

Drive Myself Quality Sound
I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.
TIM ALLEN

Children Drive License Protection Requirement
I love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, “Dad’s an idiot,” which lasted a little longer than I’d like.
TIM ALLEN

Age Different Disappoint Love Myself Preference Woman
My comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.
TIM ALLEN

Comedy Gift Intelligence Myself Smart
I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
TIM ALLEN

Adult Children Goodness Independent
In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
TIM ALLEN

Calm Challenge Experience Father Kind Time
The ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.
TIM ALLEN

Best Busy Children Ego
In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
TIM ALLEN

Compromise Marriage Nurture Relationship
I grew up around hunters. I love guns, bows, arrows, compasses and binoculars. I don’t do any of that stuff, I just like the stuff. I shot one animal, in my life, and I didn’t like it. If I had to skin an animal to eat it, I’d probably eat vegetables.
TIM ALLEN

Animal Growth Hunter Love Myself Skin Vegetable
Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we’re just the tallest people living here.
TIM ALLEN

Advice Children Live Parents People
I blend memories. I blend them into one that’s funny. I exaggerate to clarify.
TIM ALLEN

Clarify Funny Memories Myself
I’m a very bad student, but a great learner.
TIM ALLEN

Greatness Learning Myself Student

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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