Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
STEVEN WRIGHTDepression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
STEVEN WRIGHTI intend to live forever. So far, so good.
STEVEN WRIGHTHow come abbreviated is such a long word?
STEVEN WRIGHTIn my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said ‘cut it out’
STEVEN WRIGHTPlan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
STEVEN WRIGHTI put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
STEVEN WRIGHTI’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.
STEVEN WRIGHTI like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
STEVEN WRIGHTWhen I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.
STEVEN WRIGHTI was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?
STEVEN WRIGHTAll those who believe in psychokinesis – raise my hand.
STEVEN WRIGHTMy dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon’s appointments.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
STEVEN WRIGHTMy nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.
STEVEN WRIGHT