Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.
STEVEN WRIGHTI just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
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How do you get off a non-stop flight?
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There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
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Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
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I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
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Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
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Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said ‘cut it out’
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
STEVEN WRIGHT






