Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
STEVEN WRIGHTI just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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I got a new dog. He’s a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
STEVEN WRIGHT