If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
STEVEN WRIGHTIf people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
STEVEN WRIGHTIt was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I’d never even thought about killing myself.
STEVEN WRIGHTFive out of four people have trouble with fractions.
STEVEN WRIGHTI was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?
STEVEN WRIGHTYou know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
STEVEN WRIGHTNo one is listening until you make a mistake.
STEVEN WRIGHTDepression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
STEVEN WRIGHTI’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.
STEVEN WRIGHTWhy doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
STEVEN WRIGHTWhenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
STEVEN WRIGHTSupport bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
STEVEN WRIGHTI got a new dog. He’s a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him.
STEVEN WRIGHTHow do you get off a non-stop flight?
STEVEN WRIGHTShin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
STEVEN WRIGHTAlways remember your unique, just like everyone else.
STEVEN WRIGHT