I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
STEVEN WRIGHTClones are people two.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
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How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
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I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
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Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
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If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
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If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
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Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said ‘cut it out’
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
STEVEN WRIGHT