Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
STEVEN WRIGHTShin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.
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I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
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Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
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My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon’s appointments.
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
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The older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
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Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
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I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
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If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
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Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
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I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
STEVEN WRIGHT