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Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

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Darkness Device Myself

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I’d never even thought about killing myself.
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Funny Kill Learning Love Myself Time
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Break Up Imagination Myself Relationship
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Darkness Device Myself
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
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Flight Leaving One Liner Yourself
If Dracula can’t see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
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Hairs Himself Mirror Reflection See
There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
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Idiot Ocean Stand Wait
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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Appearance Funny Hairs Stick
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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Far Forever Goodness Immortal Live Myself
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Funny Mad Music Myself Night Play
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Alcohol Myself Photograph Thinking Woman
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Angry Depression Enthusiasm One Liner Perspective Sick
Half the people you know are below average.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Average Level People Yourself
The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Bed Funny Hell Home Myself Nature Night Stars Wonder
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery’s dead?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Control Death Game Yourself
In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said ‘cut it out’
STEVEN WRIGHT

Call Herself Home Light Myself Phone Woman
If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Money Thinking Worth Yourself

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