To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
STEVEN WRIGHTTo steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
STEVEN WRIGHTHow much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
STEVEN WRIGHTYou never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
STEVEN WRIGHTThe other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
STEVEN WRIGHTMy nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.
STEVEN WRIGHTI’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
STEVEN WRIGHTWhy do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery’s dead?
STEVEN WRIGHTConsciousness: That annoying time between naps.
STEVEN WRIGHTWhen everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
STEVEN WRIGHTYou know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf Dracula can’t see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
STEVEN WRIGHTI just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
STEVEN WRIGHTSomeone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
STEVEN WRIGHTLast night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
STEVEN WRIGHTHow come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
STEVEN WRIGHTHow do you get off a non-stop flight?
STEVEN WRIGHT