I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
STEVEN WRIGHTIs it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
More Steven Wright Quotes
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Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
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If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
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I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
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All those who believe in psychokinesis – raise my hand.
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I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
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You know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
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When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
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How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.
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Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
STEVEN WRIGHT