I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
STEVE MARTINI was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
STEVE MARTINI actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
STEVE MARTINIt’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
STEVE MARTINYou can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
STEVE MARTINWriter’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
STEVE MARTINI guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
STEVE MARTINBefore you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
STEVE MARTINA day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
STEVE MARTINI’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
STEVE MARTINHow many people have never raised their hand before?
STEVE MARTINIt’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
STEVE MARTINI will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
STEVE MARTINThe conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
STEVE MARTINThere’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
STEVE MARTINSome nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
STEVE MARTINIt was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.
STEVE MARTIN