I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
STEVE MARTINI was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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How many people have never raised their hand before?
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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I love money. I love everything about it.
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.
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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
STEVE MARTIN