I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
STEVE MARTINHow many people have never raised their hand before?
More Steve Martin Quotes
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The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
STEVE MARTIN