I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
STEVE MARTINHow many people have never raised their hand before?
More Steve Martin Quotes
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
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It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.
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I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
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Be so good they can’t ignore you.
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
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Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
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How many people have never raised their hand before?
STEVE MARTIN