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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.

Steve Martin

I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
STEVE MARTIN

Deep Emotion Happiness Myself Sad Time
You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
STEVE MARTIN

Life Yourself
There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
STEVE MARTIN

Break Up Cheating Herself Myself Woman
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
STEVE MARTIN

Beautiful Believe Money Myself Natural Sex
The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
STEVE MARTIN

Cheerful Happiness Play Sad Yourself
I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
STEVE MARTIN

Animal Funny Goodness Important Laughter Learning Myself Sex
It’s pain that changes our lives.
STEVE MARTIN

Change Live One Liner Ourselves Pain
Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
STEVE MARTIN

Destruction Funny Philosophy
The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
STEVE MARTIN

Inspirational Mindset Motivational Spiritual Writing
Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
STEVE MARTIN

Ability Element Natural Necessary Quality Yourself
Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
STEVE MARTIN

Harm Illusion Inspirational Learning Moments Myself
Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
STEVE MARTIN

Boy Different Language Word
Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
STEVE MARTIN

Kiss Man Sex Start Talk Yourself
Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
STEVE MARTIN

Business Happiness Person Surprise Try Yourself
With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
STEVE MARTIN

Audience Comedy Goodness Greatness Ideas Response Work Yourself
It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
STEVE MARTIN

Philosophy Thinking Yourself

When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.

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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.

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