I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
STEVE MARTINWhen I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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You have to get comfortable with your work, you really have to know what you’re doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
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Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
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I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
STEVE MARTIN