With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
STEVE MARTINI was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
STEVE MARTIN