First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
STEVE MARTINI actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
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Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
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I love money. I love everything about it.
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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
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I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
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It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.
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How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
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Be so good they can’t ignore you.
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
STEVE MARTIN