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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.

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Alive Kill Myself Promise Yourself

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Listening Myself Pain Talk
Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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Better Class Enemy Friendship Money Yourself
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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Father Funny Himself Influence Mad
I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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Evidence Friendship Hands Myself
If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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Alive Kill Myself Promise Yourself
Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Funny Heart Love Nation Patriot Yourself
In the human race today, you came last.
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Human Race Yourself
Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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Children Dog Funny Rich
I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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Myself Pain Stand Wake Up
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Country Enough Fools Funny People Politics Time Yourself
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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Chance Happiness Money Myself
Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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Animal Education Funny Start
And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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Connection Funny God Himself Light Wait
I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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Myself Sick Yourself
Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Enough Food Politics
Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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Class Expectation Morning Yourself

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