Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
SPIKE MILLIGANIf you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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I told you I was sick.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
SPIKE MILLIGAN