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Life is just a bowl of pits.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

Bowl Just Life Pit

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I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
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Cigarette General Met Offer Surgeon
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
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Fight Full Hope Man Reform Seventy Still Twenty Want
It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
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Life is just a bowl of pits.
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Bowl Just Life Pit
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
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Cheat Good Goodness Kid Look Me Wife
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
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Back Car Drive Want Wife
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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Born I Morning Mother Sickness
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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Again Boyfriend Broke Her Marriage Trock Up Wife
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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Broke Game Hockey Night Other Out Went
I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
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Age Food Kitchen Life Mirror Over Tab Taken
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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Get Honest No Politician Respect Run
If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
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All Life Pick Pocket Sex
My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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Ben Big Clock Country Cousin Find Gay
With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.
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Birthday Ever Had Join Respect Toast Water Wife Women
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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Everything Marriage Room Sepaetae Sleep Together Vacation
I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
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Come Drink Go Juice Prune Take Viagra

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