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Life is just a bowl of pits.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

Bowl Just Life Pit

Bagwalas

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Afraid Dark Light Me Naked Saw Wife
My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Calendar Day Get Jealous Look May Other Ridiculous Want Wife
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Acting Del Delicate Mask Put Very
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Happy Met Twenty Wife Year
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Cat Cover Kept Me Play Sandbox Up
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Ask How Big People Pet Store Work
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Bartender Plumber Psychiatrist See Seen Told Truth Wife
My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Ben Big Clock Country Cousin Find Gay
Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie.’ He said ‘God beat me to it.’
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Bartender Beat God Make Me Ugly Yeah Zombie
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Crazy Opinion Psychiatrist Said Second
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Fat Found Look One Only Out People Way
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Always Found Kid Move Parent
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Attack Control Girl Last Myself Night Save
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we’ll never see each other!
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Each Other Every Goe never Night Nothing Psychiatrist Right Seen Sex Wife
Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Act Actor Each Expose Himself Nide Time
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Country Dog Every Leave Pyramid Room Some

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