Funny Quotes
All I want to do is yoga and hike, and smoke weed. It’s funny.
Miley CyrusMiley Cyrus There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
Bill CosbyBill Cosby I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
Norm MacDonaldNorm MacDonald Do I really want to be integrated into a burning house?
James BaldwinJames Baldwin A pekingeese is not a pet dog; he is an undersized lion.
A. A. MilneA. A. Milne I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Steven WrightSteven Wright Justin Timberlake is everything, and what more could you want in a person? He’s funny. He’s cute. He’s great. He just understands. I get him and he gets me, and that’s cool.
Britney SpearsBritney Spears It’s funny how most people love the dead, once you’re dead your made for life.
Jimi HendrixJimi Hendrix It was funny if you looked at it right quick, but it got pitiful if you thought about it awhile.
Zora Neale HurstonZora Neale Hurston The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
David OgilvyDavid Ogilvy One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
George CarlinGeorge Carlin If you can’t sleep, count sheep. Don’t count endangered animals. You will run out.
Mitch HedbergMitch Hedberg Is there another word for synonym?
George CarlinGeorge Carlin Are you still faint from the run? Or was it my kissing expertise?
Stephenie MeyerStephenie Meyer Hearing nuns’ confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Fulton J. SheenFulton J. Sheen I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?
Steven WrightSteven Wright