Funny Quotes
Is there another word for synonym?
George CarlinGeorge Carlin One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
George CarlinGeorge Carlin If you can’t sleep, count sheep. Don’t count endangered animals. You will run out.
Mitch HedbergMitch Hedberg Do you know, it’s funny, but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage.
Stevie WonderStevie Wonder The prime function of the children’s book writer is to write a book that is so absorbing, exciting, funny, fast and beautiful that the child will fall in love with it.
Roald DahlRoald Dahl The missed call and call back drama between men and women deserves its own user mannual.
Chetan BhagatChetan Bhagat My foot, for a football player, is very beautiful!
NeymarNeymar Are you still faint from the run? Or was it my kissing expertise?
Stephenie MeyerStephenie Meyer Hearing nuns’ confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Fulton J. SheenFulton J. Sheen I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?
Steven WrightSteven Wright Nothing is funnier than unhappiness, I grant you that. Yes, yes, it’s the most comical thing in the world.
Samuel BeckettSamuel Beckett I enjoy it when it’s over! I enjoy whatever success we have. If an audience finds it funny, then it’s been worth it.
Rowan AtkinsonRowan Atkinson Ladies pick funny things to be proud of.
Harper LeeHarper Lee Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.
Adam SandlerAdam Sandler My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don’t really know what’s happening down there. Who is the real hero?
Mitch HedbergMitch Hedberg I’m a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone’s life.
Mitch HedbergMitch Hedberg