Funny Quotes
Life is a funny thing, the minute you think you’ve got everything figured out something comes along and turns it all upside down.
Zayn MalikZayn Malik On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.
H. L. MenckenH. L. Mencken There is a syndrome in sports called ‘paralysis by analysis.’
Arthur AsheArthur Ashe I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
George CarlinGeorge Carlin My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Mitch HedbergMitch Hedberg I could have sexual chemistry with vinegar.
Jessica AlbaJessica Alba The ceiling fan in my room is so strong it’s making my hair look windswept.
Olivia RodrigoOlivia Rodrigo You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.
Yogi BerraYogi Berra She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx A jealous woman is a best investigator than CBI.
Helly McGibbonHelly McGibbon I had no idea what was going on but I loved every moment of it!! Tokyo’s restaurant game is next level hotness.
Will SmithWill Smith I find his films about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck and discovering there’s a gas bill tied to it.
Rowan AtkinsonRowan Atkinson When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.
George Bernard ShawGeorge Bernard Shaw I’m not a naturally funny man. I find that I can only be funny, if I become someone else.
Rowan AtkinsonRowan Atkinson I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.
Dave ChappelleDave Chappelle I don’t want to know I’m getting older. Then I’ll start to think about getting checkups and insurance. I don’t want that.
AkonAkon