Funny Quotes

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.

I find his films about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck and discovering there’s a gas bill tied to it.

I’m not a naturally funny man. I find that I can only be funny, if I become someone else.

I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

I don’t want to know I’m getting older. Then I’ll start to think about getting checkups and insurance. I don’t want that.

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I’m upside down.

It is a very funny thing that the sleepier you are, the longer you take about getting to bed.

Sometimes, we all laugh for a joke which is not funny and cry for a love not meant to be.

The trouble with censors is that they worry if a girl has cleavage. They ought to worry if she hasn’t any.