“Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.”

A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out.

A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out.

I do not know what I think until I write it.

Liquor is the chloroform which enables the poor man to endure the painful operation of living.

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

It is a curious sensation: the sort of pain that goes mercifully beyond our powers of feeling.

Criminals do not die by the hands of the law. They die by the hands of other men.

Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.

Whisky is liquid sunshine.

The man who writes about himself and his own time is the only man who writes about all people and all time.

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.

The secret of being miserable is to have leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.

If we climb high enough, we will reach a height from which tragedy ceases to look tragic.

the conch exploded into a thousand white fragments and ceased to exist.

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

The measure of woman’s distaste for any part of her life lies not in the loudness of her lamentations (these are only an attempt to buy a martyr’s crown at a reduced price) but in her persistent pursuit of that occupation of which she never ceases to complain.

Men think epilepsy divine, merely because they do not understand it. We will one day understand what causes it, and then cease to call it divine. And so it is with everything in the universe.

When the saint ceases to seek after holiness, purity, righteousness, truth; when he ceases to pray, stops reading the Word and gives way to carnal appetites, then it is that Satan comes.

The moment a man falls into sin, divine life ceases to flow, and his life becomes one of helplessness.

Cut away all that is excessive, straighten all that is crooked, bring light to all that is overcast, labour to make all one glow of beauty and never cease chiselling your statue.