Funny Quotes

An assorted collection of quotes on Funny with high quality images that will help you to relate with the right words. Quotes are the rythmical creation of words. Download and share this collection of Funny quotes with your firiends, family and loved ones on social media platforms.

I’m smart and I can be really funny and interesting and I can go toe-to-toe with anybody in a conversation.
MEGAN FOX

Conservation Funny Interesting Smart
I talk a lot about women in my act, ’cause let’s face it — if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
ADAM FERRARA

Cause Face Food Funny Humor Hungry Lot Talk Women
It’s my body and if I want to do it like Michael Jackson, I will. My nose bothered me for a long time. Now it’s smaller and I’m happy. If I wanna put my tits on my back, they’re mine!
CHER

Body Funny Happiness Myself Willing
I can be reasonably funny and light-hearted when I’m in the company of good friends, but I’m not a jokesmith. I tend to be quite serious.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Company Friendship Funny Heart Joke Quite Reason Serious
Get your priorities straight. No one ever said on his death bed, ‘Gee, if I’d only spent more time at the office.’
H. JACKSON BROWN JR.

Choice Death Funny Office Priority Time Wasted Time
I like my wine like my women – ready to pass out.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Funny Marriage Wife Wine Women
People always say turn the other cheek. If you turn the other cheek, I’m gonna hit you in the other cheek too.
CHARLES BARKLEY

Funny Hit People
I ain’t afraid to love a man. I ain’t afraid to shoot him either.
ANNIE OAKLEY

Afraid Funny Kill Love Man Myself Shoot
Tobacco is my favorite vegetable.
FRANK ZAPPA

Favorite Funny Tabacco Vegetable
I made two mistakes and both of them are sitting on the Supreme Court. [Referring to Earl Warren and William Brennan]
DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER

Funny Mistake Myself
Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
STEVEN WRIGHT

Abandonment Book Build Funny Myself Ocean Yourself
My toughest fight was with my first wife.
MUHAMMAD ALI

Fight Funny Marriage Tough Wife
I’ve had an experience through music that has touched almost every part of me. It educated me in ways that I didn’t get educated in school. So we try to lay on a bit of that, through being funny, being serious, playing hard.
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN

Education Experience Funny Hard Music Play Serious Touch Try
Death should take me while I am in the mood.
NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE

Death Funny Mood Myself
Do not tell jokes that ain’t funny.
ABEL STARC

Advice Funny Joke One Liner
I think I have an inner confidence that my tastes are pretty simple, that what I find funny finds a wide audience.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Audience Confidence Finding Funny Minimalism Pretty Simplicity Taste
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Life Money
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX

Children Fetch Funny Understand
Do I really want to be integrated into a burning house?
JAMES BALDWIN

Burn Funny House Humour Integrated
It’s very funny that I’m being appreciated for my dance moves because when I was young, I was made fun of, as nobody thought I was able to dance.
NORA FATEHI

Dance Funny Move Myself Thinking
Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
NORM MACDONALD

Battle Day Death Funny Hospital Man Myself Old Sick
Well, I mean, if a joke or humor is bawdy, it’s got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can’t just have it bawdy or dirty just for the sake of being that – it’s got to be funny.
BETTY WHITE

Funny Humor Joke Yourself
I want to get a job naming kitchen appliances. That seems easy; refrigerator, toaster, blender. You just say what the thing does and add “er”.
MITCH HEDBERG

Funny Humor Jobs
Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There’s plenty of movement, but you never know if it’s going to be forward, backwards, or sideways.
H. JACKSON BROWN JR.

Discipline Funny Inspirational Journey Path Talent Yourself
The reason fat men are good natured is they can neither fight nor run.
THEODORE ROOSEVELT

Fight Fitness Funny Men Nature Reason
Before I came here I was confused about this subject. Having listened to your lecture I am still confused. But on a higher level.
ENRICO FERMI

Confusion Funny Listening Myself Subject
Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.
WILL ROGERS

Chair Deserve Funny High Five Face People

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