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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.

Norm MacDonald

Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
NORM MACDONALD

Best Mindset Praise Success
Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
NORM MACDONALD

Better Ignorance Knowledge Philosophy
I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
NORM MACDONALD

End Fantasy Friendship Love Order Politics Simplicity Sports World
A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
NORM MACDONALD

Crime Evil Greatness Injustice Man Practice Success Thinking World
I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
NORM MACDONALD

Intelligence People Poor Stupidity Thinking
You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
NORM MACDONALD

Best Dreams Goodness Life Right Wake Up Yourself
He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
NORM MACDONALD

Himself Praise Search
You can’t love your team without hating another team.
NORM MACDONALD

Hate Love Rival Team Yourself
Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
NORM MACDONALD

Care Carry Force Limitation Restriction Worst Youth
I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
NORM MACDONALD

Comedy Identity Joke Myself Perfection
There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
NORM MACDONALD

Advice Avoid Determination Distance Himself Man Opinion Pursue
The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
NORM MACDONALD

Life Philosophy Principle Solid Wisdom
Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
NORM MACDONALD

Believe Discover Life Moon Yourself
Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
NORM MACDONALD

Game Man Money Sick Win Yourself
As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
NORM MACDONALD

Body Heart Occasion Passion Soul Tranquility
I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
NORM MACDONALD

Cook Intelligence Man Myself Thankful Woman

The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.

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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.

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