Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
NORM MACDONALDDuring misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
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They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
NORM MACDONALD






