A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
NORM MACDONALDDuring misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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You can’t love your team without hating another team.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
NORM MACDONALD