Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
NORM MACDONALDA suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
NORM MACDONALD