The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
NORM MACDONALDA suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
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Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
NORM MACDONALD