I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
NORM MACDONALDA suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
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Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
NORM MACDONALD