In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
NORM MACDONALDI can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
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Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
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Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
NORM MACDONALD -
I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
NORM MACDONALD -
Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
NORM MACDONALD