Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
NORM MACDONALDI can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
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Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
NORM MACDONALD -
I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
NORM MACDONALD -
It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
NORM MACDONALD