All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
NORM MACDONALDThe joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
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Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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You can’t love your team without hating another team.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
NORM MACDONALD