In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
NORM MACDONALDWith the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
NORM MACDONALD