They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
NORM MACDONALDEver see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
NORM MACDONALD