All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
NORM MACDONALDEver see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
NORM MACDONALD