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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.

Norm MacDonald

Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
NORM MACDONALD

Behavior Hate Love Mental People Violence
Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
NORM MACDONALD

Action Change Practice Principle Thinking
I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
NORM MACDONALD

Computer Enough Food Money Myself Need Right Technology Yourself
All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
NORM MACDONALD

Death Life Money Myself People Thinking Try
It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
NORM MACDONALD

Fortune Policy Wasted Time
You can’t love your team without hating another team.
NORM MACDONALD

Hate Love Rival Team Yourself
The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
NORM MACDONALD

Imperfection Man Ourselves Praise Seek Virtue
A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
NORM MACDONALD

Education Idiot People Poor Rich Stupidity Writing
The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
NORM MACDONALD

Ego Expression Imitation Joy Opinion Person Satisfaction See Worth
There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
NORM MACDONALD

Advice Avoid Determination Distance Himself Man Opinion Pursue
When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
NORM MACDONALD

Battle Courageous Defeat Failure Hero Himself Lost Man Sick
Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
NORM MACDONALD

Believe Discover Life Moon Yourself
A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
NORM MACDONALD

Crime Evil Greatness Injustice Man Practice Success Thinking World
Few people love with the violence they hate.
NORM MACDONALD

Hate Love People Philosophy Violence
Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
NORM MACDONALD

Comedy Funny Laughter Surprise Yourself
Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
NORM MACDONALD

Dog Friendship Funny Home Ideas Man See Thrill Walk Yourself

Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.

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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.

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