I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
NORM MACDONALDEnvy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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You can’t love your team without hating another team.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
NORM MACDONALD