A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
NORM MACDONALDHypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
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I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
NORM MACDONALD