Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
NORM MACDONALDHypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
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You can’t love your team without hating another team.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
NORM MACDONALD