In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
NORM MACDONALDHypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
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A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
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As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
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The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
NORM MACDONALD