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I’m sorry to inform you that your 50 year warranty has expired on your back, knees, and memory.

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Back Expire Fifty Inform Knee Memory Sorry Warranty Year

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“Why doesn’t the fellow who says, “I’m no speechmaker,” let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration? “
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There’s another advantage to being poor – a doctor will cure you faster.
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On a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith.
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If there’s anything mean in a feller, a litter authority will bring it out.
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Luckily your lifetime warranty on your heart is still in effect. Of course, that becomes void and expires when you do.
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The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.
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I never saw an athletic girl that thought she was strong enough to do indoor work.
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A sadder but wiser man is a thousand times more agreeable to meet than the feller that never makes a mistake.
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There is plenty of peace in any home where the family doesn’t make the mistake of trying to get together.
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Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.
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Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, an’ it keeps on laughin’.
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A loafer always has the correct time.
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If there’s anything a public servant hates to do it’s something for the public.
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The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
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A friend that ain’t in need is a friend indeed.
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Honesty pays, but it doesn’t seem to pay enough to suit some people.
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Enough Honesty Pay People Seem Some Suit

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