If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn’t scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
JOAN RIVERSI saw what’s going on under my chin. I don’t want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
More Joan Rivers Quotes
-
-
On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
JOAN RIVERS -
Your anger can be 49 percent and your comedy 51 percent, and you’re okay. If the anger is 51 percent, the comedy is gone.
JOAN RIVERS -
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she’s a tramp.
JOAN RIVERS -
If you don’t want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.
JOAN RIVERS -
I enjoy life when things are happening. I don’t care if it’s good things or bad things. That means you’re alive.
JOAN RIVERS -
When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
JOAN RIVERS -
Grandchildren can be annoying – how many times can you go: “And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink”? It’s like talking to a supermodel.
JOAN RIVERS -
I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.
JOAN RIVERS -
I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
JOAN RIVERS -
Happiness, at my age, is breathing
JOAN RIVERS -
I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn’t get better. You get better.
JOAN RIVERS -
I have a million dollar figure but it’s all loose change.
JOAN RIVERS -
In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected; the only surprise is a day that has none.
JOAN RIVERS -
Women should look good. Work on yourselves. Education? I spit on education. No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.
JOAN RIVERS -
Don’t cook. Don’t clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum.
JOAN RIVERS