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The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are ‘age appropriate.’ For me that would be a shroud.

Joan Rivers

Old age is always ten years more than we are.
JOAN RIVERS

Age Old Reality
We all mourn in our own way. I mourn with a great steak.
JOAN RIVERS

Death Food Funny Greatness Myself
I’m racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson’s back when he was black.
JOAN RIVERS

Black Friendship Himself Myself Possible Race
There are many self-help books by Ph.D.s, but I hold a different degree: an I.B.T.I.A.-I’ve Been Through It All. This degree comes not on parchment but gauze, and it entitles me to tell you that there is a way to get through any misfortune.
JOAN RIVERS

Book Different Education Help Misfortune
Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
JOAN RIVERS

Defeat Herself Myself Win
Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
JOAN RIVERS

Darkness Hard Time Optimism Positive Present Success Thinking
I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn’t get better. You get better.
JOAN RIVERS

Better Grief Myself
If you laugh at it, you can deal with it.
JOAN RIVERS

Deal Laugh Yourself
I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.
JOAN RIVERS

Body Death Laughter Memories Myself
The first rule of survival is: Make your own rules. The hell anyone thinks about the way you’re acting; listen only to yourself.
JOAN RIVERS

Act Listening Rule Survive Thinking Yourself
I use a smoke alarm as a timer.
JOAN RIVERS

Myself Smoke Time
I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
JOAN RIVERS

Hell Holy Water
Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
JOAN RIVERS

Choice Law Wife Woman
You know you’re getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.
JOAN RIVERS

Deep Fun Funny Old Work Yourself
On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
JOAN RIVERS

Eat Food Yourself
One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
JOAN RIVERS

Herself Oneself People Rebel Thinking Woman

The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are ‘age appropriate.’ For me that would be a shroud.

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The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are ‘age appropriate.’ For me that would be a shroud.

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Popular Authors

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