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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.

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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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Age No Out Women Worth
This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
GEORGE BURNS

Book Guy Raed Sixth Two Written
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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Bed Make Money Stay
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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Bad Busy Country Cut Drive Hair Know People Run Taxicab
If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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Age Die Few Got Hundred Made One Past People Very
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
GEORGE BURNS

Came Down Everything Goes Time Up When
I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
GEORGE BURNS

Access Failure Hate Rather Something
It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS

Anywhere Eight Good Here Ninty
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
GEORGE BURNS

Another Care City Close Family Happiness Knit Large Love
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
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All Bad Country Cut Hair Know People Run Taxicab Too
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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Better Failure Hate Honesty Something Success
You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
GEORGE BURNS

Get Help Old Older
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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Begining Close End Good Have Possible Secret Together
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
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Afford Die Lose Money Much Too
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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Age Fidteenm Cigar Hold Smoke Something
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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