It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
GEORGE BURNSIf you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
More George Burns Quotes
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
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You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
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This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
GEORGE BURNS -
If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
GEORGE BURNS -
Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
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It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS